wahshteny awi ya ummi ( i miss u so much my mother)

Ya mama i miss u so much 2day

I wish i could just sit with u and talk 2 u about anything like we used 2 do.
I wish i could tell u about all my problems and get a hug from u. I wanna tell u all the things i cant tell u bcz i dont want u 2 worry about me. I need ur advice ya mama. What would u do if u were in my place?
I feel lonly without u, bcz u r the only person in this world who loves me unconditional!

I know we havent been this close always and u dont know how happy iam that we are able 2 hug each other now and talk like friends, something we couldnt do when i was younger.
Its so sad that we are so far from each other just now when our connection became better n better.
I know i havent been a good daughter always, i made u so much problems when i was a teenager and i mad ur life so hard. Im truly sorry for it and i wish i could make it up 2 u. Now i will be a mother myself soon, i just wish u were here with me and help me with all those little things that u know better than me.

Its breaking my heart that i cant be near u and take care of u, give u that little presents i used 2 bring u and cook for u. U dont know how hard it was for me 2 leave when i see u still struggle with ur injury. I swear if u were here i would do anything 2 make life easier for u, just as tryd when i was there after ur accident.
I just want u 2 be as happy as possible, and i wish u wil be happy even iam far from u.
I wish for u that u will find a lot of new people that u can spend ur time with, that u find something that makes u really happy, maybe find love.
U deserve it more than anyone else that i know, bcz u always give and do everything for the people around u while never asking for anything back.
I truly dont know a person that is as strong and loving as u are.

Bahbek Mama
I love u...Ich hab dich lieb mama

A Walk to remember..

Since i decided to be more active and not sit in the house all day, depending on my husband, i feel much better.
2day i took a walk 2 discover my neighbourhood.
The most intresting thing for me are the street cats :D
I love them and i wish i could just sit down and pet them. But as am pregnant i stay a bit away from them. When iam not pregnant anymore i will for sure do it again, though i would only do it if no one see me cause the egyptian don t understand if u r nice 2 street cats.
While i was walking i passed by some shops n decided 2 by onion.
Wrong decision!
The guy who sold the vegetables was very local and i discovered my arabic isnt good enough 2 understand him :S
I told him " ayza wahid kilo basil" ( i want 1 kilo onion)
What i forgot is that onion means basal n not basil, so he didnt understood me until i showed him what i wanted. He asked me if iam syrian cause i didnt understood most of what he said :D
Actually i felt really embarrased that i wasnt able 2 communicate with him :(
When i lived in alex i was able 2 buy vegetables and the shopkeeper understood me always. But he wasnt that local i guess.
Conclusion: Study more arabic..especially the pronounciation!
Alhamdulillah buying some chipsy in another shop went well and i understood the shopkeeper. But that wasnt hard anyway as i just asked "bekam?" ( how much does it coast)
and his answer "setta wo noss" ( 6,5) wasnt hard 2 understand either, alhamdulillah :)


A bit blurry but the way he ( or she?) is looking me was just worth a pic

Dogs are haram..

But that doesnt mean we can treat them bad!
There is even a hadith which states a woman ( prostitute) who gave water 2 a thirsty dog wnet 2 heaven for her deed. And a woman who mistrested a cat went 2 hell!

We had a dog at my in laws home.
She was there for security and 2 keep the rats away.
Now some time ago she got babys, but sadly only 2 of 5 survived :(
I blame my husbands brother as he was to take care of them but he didnt really care!
The dog was staying on the roof which was like a huge terasse and she could go down into the garden at any time she liked. The little ones stayed at the roof as they were 2 small 2 go down the stairs.

But now someone seemed 2 have poisend them :(
My husbands brother called us some days ago that the dogs died and they were throwing up blood before that :(
I dont get why he didnt get the vet who is having his place not far from the house.
Arent the dogs worth to get help from us?
I know that if we have been there my husband would have done anything 2 save them, as he loved that dog so much.
We actually wanted 2 take one of the babys to our place but we dont have so much place and my husband had doubts so we didnt do it.
I wish we had, cause it would be still alive :(


These are some pictures of them, dont they look so sweet and innocent?
How could anyone harm them???

Strange habbits?

Do u have any strange habbits?
Strange annoying or just different habbits?
I actually figured out that i got a few of them :D

Like i HAVE to clean the diashes ( and everything else) right after eating. I cant let them stand around, even if its just for a short time. It just makes me feel uncomfortable when they stand there in the kicthen and i have to think how hard it will be to clean them later.

Another habbit that has 2 do with food 2, is that i cant let any pot open ( with food inside of course).
I always have 2 cover them. Though there are no bugs in my house( alhamdulillah) i still feel anything could fal into the food if i leave it uncovered.
And it absolutly drives me crazy when my husband eats from it and than leave them uncovered *grrr*

I tend 2 write lists for everything. Absolutly everything :)
I write lists for shopping, for my daily dutys, for my goals, for things we will need in the future, for some money calculations ( which is unnecessary),...
I just love 2 sort things and writingit down help me with that.
My husband thinks thats bcz iam german..well might be :D

Iam sure there is more but i just cant think of more now, maybe i should ask my husband :)

Mistress of Spices - Movie

MBC Persia was shwoing the movie mistress of spices last night, though i couldnt see the whole movie cause it was simply 2 late n i needed to sleep (about 3 am)i liked it. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWps7RYW2m8 ) Beware this movie has some scenes which we muslims not supposed 2 watch so just ignore them and close ur eyes :)
I have been reading the book before which is from my all time favourite writer Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Its not my favourite book from her but still a good one.
Like usually the book is better than the movie but the movie wasnt so bad and it made me wanna go 2 any spices Bazar 2 spend a little fortune on spices :)
(Inshallah i will go 2 a spices shop soon 2 get some spices i havent been able 2 get here til now like mustard seeds).
I have been in pakistan before and ever since i love to cook with indian spices, they just have such a richness of spices which make cooking real fun.
My husband uses 2 say he hates indian food ( justr like he dislikes india), but when i cook it for him he liked the food. Propably cause i never tell him that its inidan food ;)
Something i do regulary and which i really adore is indian chai.
Here in Egypt chai is simply black tea, but in india and pakistan chai has another meaning, its black tea with milk and spices and its really lovly.
When i was on diet before this was my swet treat every day :D
Now here is how 2 do it:

1. Boil some water and add black tea( not the tea bags if possibl). If u are very unsure about the amount than just atke 1 cup of water.
When it boils and the tea has a nice dark colour than add some milk.
The colour should be light brown after ading the milk, so dont add 2 much or 2 less.
The colour should be like in the picture below.



2. Now crash some cardamom seeds ( i take mostly 2 or 3) and add them to the tea.
Add some cinnamon powder ( or fresh cinnamon stick) and a tiny peace of ginger ( fresh or dryd)

3. Now let the mix cook for some time, when it boils turn the heat low and let it simmer for a little bit (maybe 2 min, this isnt necessary but maked the taste much better)

4. Add sugar and than sieve it into a cup.
And enjoy it :)

Now some about the lovly spices used in this drink.
Lets start with cinnamon, which we all know and love in our sweets.
And that the health benefits:

Cinnamon has been reported to have remarkable pharmacological effects in the treatment of Type 2 diabetes mellitus and insulin resistance.
Cinnamon has traditionally been used to treat toothache and fight bad breath and its regular use is believed to stave off common cold and aid digestion.



Cardamom
I just adore this spice, its one of my favourite and i love it in coffee, sweets and chai of course.
Health benefits:

Its used to treat infections in teeth and gums, to prevent and treat throat troubles, congestion of the lungs and pulmonary tuberculosis, inflammation of eyelids and also digestive disorders. It also is used to break up kidney stones and gall stones, and was reportedly used as an antidote for both snake and scorpion venom.



Ginger
I normally use this one i main dishes, in the beginning i didnt like dthe taste, but i got used 2 it and now i like it :)
health benefits:
Ginger has been found effective in multiple studies for treating nausea caused by seasickness, morning sickness and chemotherapy.
And Ginger may have blood thinning and cholesterol lowering properties that may make it useful for treating heart disease.
In Arabic, ginger is called zanjabil and in some parts of the Middle East ginger powder is used as a spice for coffee ( not in my coffee though).

My first driving lesson

2day i had my very first driving lesson (with 22 years *shame*)
Actually my husband teached me and i wasnt that bad at all :)
I think i did pretty well cause i needed only about 15 min 2 learn how 2 start the car and how 2 drive in the 2nd and 3rd gear.
It was kinda scary though cause it was after maghrib so it was dark, but alhamdulillah the place we were at was empty and there was only 1 more car which was a young guy learning 2 drive by his father, and he did better than me :S (I keep telling myself it wasnt his first time!)
I didnt thought i would handle driving so well, but yeah it was just driving on a safe place, am still scared from the street with all those crazy egyptian driver.
Inshallah i can learn soon 2 park and 2 drive on the street so i can use the car when my husband is at work and i can go shopping on my own *yeah*

2 all of u Jummah mubarak :)

Being pregnant

Iam now pregnant 28 weeks and its getting really annoying :)
Not that i dont love my baby and iam happy 2 have him but the side effects are really making me tired.
Recently my stomach got so big, its scary :S
I just avoid watching myself in the mirror as i see myself just looking fat n not atractive at all.
Im dreaming about the time when i can again do sports
go running
go skating
go riding
walk a long time without panting :)
sleep as i like without someone kicking me if he doesnt like the position :)
when i dont have this cravings anymore ( sugar,sugar,sugar..i want it all the time)

I simple miss 2 see myself as a woman and to wear nice clothes.
When i see those lovly clthes i was able 2 wear be4 the pregnancy i could cry :S
But inshallah i will work hard after it 2 get into them again.
And i cant wait 2 hold my baby in my arms :)



2 all the mothers out there: How much weigth did u gain in pregnancy?

Fire... :S

I wanted 2 post some more on egypt but im not really in the mood right now.
Just some min ago i was sitting withmy husband on the bed when we both smelled something burning. My hubsnad was even saying it might be a bruning machine somewhere.
But when i watched out of the window i could see what it was..
Right next 2 us is a free place where someone started 2 build a house but obviously run out of money so he let the place as it is.
I could already see the fire over he wall ( and the wall is 2 metre high!)
My husband ran outside right away and informed our landlord ( who is living above us).
Alhamdulillah they could stop the fire 2gether with some neighbours.
But it really scared me like hell :S
What if we slept at the time? The fire could have taken over very soon and harm us ( or even kill us, audhubillahi mina shaytan nirageem)

I believe that Allah wanted 2 show us that we can die any time, no one is secure of this!
Only 2 months ago there was a fire in the house of my in laws and i dont get what it is that we have so much 2 do with fire these days?
I mean in all my life i never had anything 2 do with this kinda fire. I didnt even saw a big fire in my Life.
And now in 2 months im in contact with it 2 times. Should i worry now? :S

Ya Rab protect us all from the bad things and give us the chance 2 be better muslims before we die!

Some pics 2 the post

Before i go i decided 2 post some pics of masr, i hope u enjoy it :)

Some thoughts on Egypt - Part 1

Since most people who read my Blog arent egyptians, i thought u might be intrested in the real Egypt :)
I realised fast that living in Egypt shows u different sides of egypt than if u only visit it. Same for the case if ur a muslim or not, its just a big difference.

When i first came here in september 2008 i directly had 2 be very independent and find out things by myself. Fortunatly people didnt always recognize am not egyptian as i dress just like them and as long as i dont speak they mostly think iam egyptian and so they treat me like that.

One thing i found out very very fast is that woman arent supposed 2 be outside at night alone. Now i dont mean a time like 2 am cause that wouldnt be so good elsewhere 2 ( though it wouldnt be so dangerous).
But its better not 2 go out without a male after about 10pm. After 12am its really getting strange if u are out without a male and believe me u wont feel so comfortable.
There are some places where this rules are not working like in citystars ( a big mall in nasr city).
But in generell i would advice u 2 avoid going out after 10pm alone.
I dared 2 go stay out until 12 am one night in alexandria cause i was waiting for a friend of me and this friend just came late bcz of transportation. And i felt like all males watching me very strange. Alhamdulillah iam a muslim and i was wearing hijab and abaya and iam sure this kept the guys from harassing me.
Its the culture here that a woman that hangs out on the street alone at that time cant be a good one, bcz the good girls stay home with their familys or go out with their husbands. So if u are out alone its shows u r not protected and maybe u even looking 2 meet guys..

Another thing that doesnt really exist in europe ( at least in germany) are cafes only for males. Mostly they are really simple shops where they just serve coffee and tea (and shisha of course).They are never fancy shops with nice decoration and special drinks, its just a simple place where the man meet and drink tea together.
If u as a woman go and sit there they will watch u in a strange way :)
I know it bcz i did it out of not knowing. But actually i wasnt alone, my arabic teacher took me there and later he told me that this cafe normally is just 4 males and that we gonna study in another cafe next time ( he was just 20 and obviously hadnt experience about cafes).
Now since i married i realise it more than before how much egyptians care for this.
Like if we go 2 a cafe and there are sitting only males, than my husband insists 2 go 2 another cafe. Not if its a cafe like cilentro, beanos or any cafe like that.
But im talking about the local ones, where u pay 2 pund for a tea and u mostly sit outside on wooden chairs :)
So if u plan 2 go out with girls only choose a cafe where already girls are sitting and better avoid 2 much empty cafes cause it might be a really bad one.

Ill think of more later as iam going 2 drink qahwa with my husband now :)

Baby shopping

I was frustrated so when my husband left 4 work 2day ( weve been arguing), so i decided 2 go 2 the shop near our house.
Its just 2 min walk 2 there alhamdulillah
It a really small shop with some baby clothes, housewear, and a little bit of normal clothes for outside ( shirts,..)
I already knew what i wanna buy be4 i went there :D
I saw it the last time and we didnt bought it bcz its for baby from 6 - 9 months,
so its a bit big.
But its so cute and cheap that i decided 2 buy it 2day.
I payd 24 pound which is about 3,5 euro i think. Thats really cheap, in germany i would have payd at least 10 - 15 euro for it bcz its new and from disney :)

I made ticker for this Blog 2, about my pregnancy cause i tend 2 4get which week iam in *shame* the ticker is in the sidebar 2 but 2 make it easier, here it is =


And this is the pic of my shopping result 2day :)

How many oranges u need for 1 l. Juice?

Guess how many oranges u need 2 get 1 litre of orange juice?

I know the answer :P
U need about 11 oranges

How do i know?
I tryd it out yesterday

Why do i tell u this?
Dont know really, am just bored :P

Ps: if u have 2 much fresh orange juice left, just put it in the freezer for some time and u get a nice frozen sorbet :)

Am feeling sick :S

I guess i ate something wrong last night
I cant say what it was since i ate a lot of different things :)
But i guess it was the milk-rice which my mother in law brought with her ( from a shop)
Since the morning i feel pain in my stomach and i just wanna sleep.
It doesnt made it better that i didnt get sleep all night. We just stayed up til about 7am and after it when we tryd 2 sleep a annoying fly woke me up every 5 min.
So im kinda exhausted and feel sick
Which really sucks as its friday and i waited all week 4 this day since my husband promised we will go 2 a big mall
I desperatyly need some clothes 2 wear at home since my stomach just got bigger and my old clothes dont fit anymore :(

I cant believe am now pregnanct since about 27 weeks.
Its not 2 much time left til the baby will be born and i dont really feel ready.
There are still things we need 2 buy. BUt 2 be honest i cant wait that my body is mine again.I feel absolutly unatractive and i feel like a old woman when i move slowly out of the bed..

Alahmdulillah 4 everything

Au pair time in Uk

From April 2009 i was working as an Au pair in Uk
I worked there for about 1,5 Months only even though i was supposed 2 stay longer
It was one of the worst experiences of my Life and iam happy iam over with this.
But i cant deny im not really done with it bcz from time 2 time i remember it and it makes me feel bad.

When i got the news that i could work in Uk i was so happy. It gave me the opportunity 2 earn money and 2 get experience with kids.
I was working 4 a family with a christian mother and an maroccan muslim father.
The 2 kids were Malik ( 3) and Aalia ( 9) and Aalia was happy 2 have a muslim Au/pair as she was intrested 2 learn about Islam.

It didnt went as i was hoping 4..
The mother was a terrible person, like a stepmother in any fairytale!
She gave me the orders what i have 2 do, which was alright with me cause that was after all my duty. The things i had 2 do were a lot but it was ok.
I had to bring the kids 2 school, than clean and make food 4 the kids.
Clean the flat.
Than take Malik home play with him.
Go and take Aalia home and than give them food and make homework with Aalia.
Than play with them until the parents come home.
Extra dutys were bathing the kids once a week and cook dinner twice a week

Well i did all this and i did my best though the kids were really spoiled and didnt listen 2 anyone.
Still the mother was never satisfied!
The food i was cooking was never good enough..not 2 mention that i was 21 and didnt had experience 2 cook for 5 people. How could she expect a perfect dinner?
I did my best and my food isnt that worse. Thats not what i say, but i cooked 4 several people and all of them like dmy food.

The flat was never clean enough. Though i vacuumed 2 times a day in the morning and at night before she came home. I cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom and the kids rooms.
I washed the clothes of all of them, ironed the kids clothes and put her and her husbands clothes in their room.
I cleaned the windows, the stairs..
I think thats all u can ask 4 in an au pair..

Every little mistake i made was 2 much
If Aalia didnt do the housework on friday night she would scream at me!
Though i just allowed Aalia 2 do it the next day..

In the end i used the pc 2 look 4 other babysitter jobs at weekend cause i didnt liked 2 be there all weekedn and for au pair jobs after this time.
Well obviously she was always checking the sites i was visiting.
So she came 2 me and screamed at me like a crazy..
She blamed me that i was looking 4 another job without telling her ( i didnt i swear but even if i did, its my right isnt it???)
So it ended up in drama..
I was crying as i could take it anymore emotionally
Her husband was talking 2 her that this happend everytime that they take a au pair, and that she cant treat human like this always.
The kids came 2 my room and tryd 2 make me feel better..Aalia even told me that shes used 2 this, as the aupairs always end up crying and leaving
( the last aupair just left them bcz of the bad treatment)

I didnt left right away, as written in my contract i stayed about 1 month so they could find another aupair. This month was hell..
U can imagine how bad it is 2 live with a furious woman who just wanna make ur life hell..

When i left they didnt even brought me 2 the airport!
They let me go there by train
I had 2 carry 2 heavy bags whihc i could nearly not handle, changing the train 3 times til i reached the airport after 3 hours..

After this experience i really needed time 2 get over it and 2 get this bad feeling away from me again..

I just wish they will never get an aupair again
But thats useless 2 wish as they got an aupair right after me which left after 1 month again.. ( i know it from facebook..)
Im sorry 4 the kids that they have a mother like this and that their father is 2 weak 2 do anything for them..

Not 2 mention that they lie there!
U cant use the Wii when u want cause they watch tv when they are home and when theyr r not home u take care of the kids..
- 28" widescreen TV/DVD, satallite is a lie 2! In the very small room is a tv with about 2 channels..the big tv with satelite is downstairs and u cant use it when they r home!!!
- free unlimited access to the Internet and free limited international calls to home
Unlimited calls means 30 min a day and just in europe! unlimited free internet acces? Well when u use internet when the kids r there? or when the kids sleep? The pc is in the kids room so u cant use it when the kids r there or when u have 2 take care of them..

How 2 win the heart of ur husband

I heard a lesson about this topic and found it very intresting
Though i dont agree 2 all points, i think it can be very helpfull
And its a good reminder of things that most woman know anyway

1. Make ur house a place he likes 2 be at
That means it should be clean when he comes home and it should smell good.

2. Smile when he comes home and welcome him, tell him that u missed him
It will make him feel good 2 be back home
Offer him something 2 drink and give him time 2 get down after the work before u start 2 talk about ur problems..which leeds to point 3

3. Wait 4 the right moment 2 talk about problems
Dont do it when hes doing something and u know he dont wanna be disturbed
( might be a football game or anything else)
Try 2 be calm, also when u think its his fault and discuss it with him in a good way

4. Dont talk bad about his family
Even when hes mad at them, he will stil not accept that u say anything bad about them.
Even if its true what u say, its better not 2 say it.
Just try 2 ignore these kinda things and try 2 not talk about themat all if u dont like them.

5. Practise ur religion
He will appreciate if his wife is intrested in practising her religion and it will help him 2 do the same. Like when its prayer time, ask him kindly 2 come 2 pray.
Remind him in a good way, when he does smething which isnt really islamic ( like swearing) He will respect u 4 it, if hes a true muslim

6. Do the things he likes
If he likes a certain dish, do it regulary 4 him.
If he likes a certain parfum, wear it 4 him.
Make ur hair the way he likes it the most.
That doesnt mean its always about him, but if u try 2 do the things he likes and avoid the things he dislikes he will propably do the same and he will love u more 4 it..Sometimes males are so easy 2 please just by making the cake he loves or wearing the dress he likes so much on u

7. Try 2 obey him
I know this is a hard one, and i struggle 2 do it.
Like if he asks u 2 make tea, or 2 bring him something.
Just do it, its not such a big thing and Allah asked us 2 obey our husbands.
It doesnt mean 2 obey in anyhting against islam cause hats haram. But if he asks u 4 something ( like plz put my moble 2 charge) do it 4 him without asking why and acting as if its a big burden. After some time he will appreciate it 4 sure.
And it will make him look at u in a different way cause it shows him that u love him and dont mind 2 do small ( or bigger( things 4 him.

8. Do him small favours without him asking.
Like bring him tea when hes watching tv or bring him some fruit that u cut 4 him.
It just shows ur love 2wards him and u will get a big reward from Alah for dong more than ur duty 2wards ur husband.
And dont u love it when ur husband does those things 4 u? Like when he brings u the chocolate u like without u even asking him 4 it. Its just a nice thing 2 do, 4 muslims and non muslims.

There r so much more things, but this is what i remember and what i think about this topic.
Iam trying 2 keep the points as good as i can, but its tough sometimes. Especially when u r unhappy with ur life bcz than its hard 2 make someone else happy.
But iam trying, not only 4 my husbands sake, but also 4 the reward ill get from Allah.
May Allah bless all married couples and make it easy 4 them. Ameen

I Love Apples

I just love them
Especially since iam pregnant, i could eat them all the time
I adore the dark red ones so much
Alhamdulillah iam able 2 eat them often nowadays as i make my husband bring them a lot :)

some quotes i love

Iam tired of everything and i just pray Allah may ease our situation.Ameen

Time can change in every breath we take


You can't help who you love, you're not supposed to


If you are willing to trust in a person when all others tell you to
go against it, if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken
because you believe in that other person, Then that is true love


Speak less to people whom u love most…..
Because if they cant understand ur silence…..
They can never understand your words….




“You don’t need to do anything.”

Inside her head she added, Except love me.

Inside her head he replied, I do love you.

Inside her head she said, But not enough.

chitra banerjee divakaruni


No guy is worth your tears & when you find one that is,
he won't make you cry.


No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying